Actress In A Leading Role

The Internets tell me the Oscars are coming up. I have seen exactly one of the films with a nomination this year. One. Fortunately, the drama at home is of the highest quality. In fact, if you drop by at about 7:50 PM, you should catch a veritable tour-de-force of improvisational acting.

starletbeanlet

"Yes, I know, I'm so fabulous."


bottom ]

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

               MUMMY finishes putting away toys and switches off the
               television. KIDLET looks up, alarmed, from the coloring book
               in which she has been dreamily scribbling.

                                   KIDLET
                             (aghast)
                         Wall-E!

                                   MUMMY
                         No Wall-E. Time for bed.

                                   KIDLET
                         Oh, no!

                                   MUMMY
                         Oh, yes.

               Kidlet scrambles down from the table and runs into a far
               corner of the room.

                                   KIDLET
                             (desperately)
                         I want juice, please!

                                   MUMMY
                             (advancing)
                         You have juice here.

                                   KIDLET
                         Want food! See the fishy!

                                   MUMMY
                             (picking up a blanket)
                         Time for bed, dear.

                                   KIDLET
                         Change the nappy?

               Mummy checks for biohazards. 

                                   MUMMY
                         Nothing there.

               She picks up Kidlet.

                                   KIDLET
                         Oh, dear! Go see the ducks? Please?
                         Please?!

               INT. STAIRWAY - NIGHT

               Mummy carries a wriggling, WAILING Kidlet up.

               INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

               Kidlet YOWLS. Mummy pastes a toothbrush and sticks it in
               Kidlet's hand.

               A moment's silence as Kidlet sucks the paste off: yum!

               Mummy SIGHS.

               INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

               Mummy fishes pajamas out of a dresser. Kidlet begins
               desperately pulling toy food from a toy stove.

                                   KIDLET
                         Make the food! Apple in a bow-el.
                         Spoon in a bow-el. 
                             (holding up toy banana)
                         Bananama!

               Undeterred, Mummy comes at Kidlet with the pajama shirt.

                                   KIDLET (CONT'D)
                         No!

               Kidlet goes limp in the middle of the floor.

               Mummy pulls off Kidlet's shoes and tights.

               She shakes Kidlet out of her shirt. Kidlet flops back onto
               the hardwood, not protesting when her head connects: BONK.

               Mummy wrestles Kidlet's noodle limbs into the pajamas.

                                   MUMMY
                         Bedtime, sweetie.

               Kidlet suddenly retracts into a fetal position.

                                   KIDLET
                         Nooooooooo! Noooooooooooo!

               Mummy lifts the tiny, raging nautilus into the crib and tucks
               blankets around her.

                                   MUMMY
                         Good night, cupcake. I love you.

                                   KIDLET
                             (suddenly sunny)
                         Goot night! Sleep a tight! Ha ha!

               Mummy SIGHS. She turns on the night light and goes out.

[ top ]


Advertisements

3 comments

  1. Knowing chuckles from this end…obviously has a lot of Joanie’s blood ( dropping to floor like being shot, even hittng head -not a sound)
    Enjoy!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s