[By Trev] As a renowned songbird and celebrated performing artiste I have often wowed the crowned heads of Europe with my popular repertoire. Such plucky tunes as, “My Washboard’s stuck on spin-cycle” and “Zeppelins over Rednal” caught the public imagination before Victoria took to the throne, and they’re but two of the many hundreds in my head; so how is it that after such a long career creeping the boards of the music halls, this small tune escapes me? What ditty is the Belle of South Birmingham trilling here?
Gentle friends, I look to you for the answers that will restore my sleep and sanity; and God-willing keep the opium pipe from my trembling lips. God save the Queen!