Ask The Baby: Are You Ready For Some (American) Football?

As the NFL season enters week four, Sports expert E.A.A. Judson answers your questions about tonight’s matchup between Uncle Jer’s Miami Dolphins and Aunt Katie’s New England Giseles Patriots.

Before we get to the questions, though, the Editors feel it’s important to address the concerns of those in Ms. Judson’s home country, regarding the legitimacy of American “football”. It’s been derided as “a bunch of oiks wearing shelving material”, and “sweaty men’s encounter groups interrupted by shoving”.

There may be, however, a case for calling it “handegg”. Viz.:


I'm sure he has better hair than Becks under that helmet.

Dear Ask The Baby: So, Gisele Bundchen. Is she going to be worse for the Patriots than Jessica Simpson was for the Cowboys, or will she be more like our Kate Hudson? Because obviously, the wives and girlfriends of the players have such a big impact when it comes to football.

–Field Goal Gossip

Dear FGG: Ball!

Dear Ask The Baby: How do you feel about the proposed shift to an 18-game schedule in2012 from a 16-game schedule? On the one hand, I think this would be great, because it means two more games a season. On the other hand, I’m a Lions fan.

Roar for More?

Dear Roar: Weady… go! [runs down the room with football] Eh gamma bullispa, eh heh heh, a badda ball! [insane giggling] Weady… GO! [runs up the room with football]

Dear Ask The Baby: Two quickies about the Pats: do you think Tom Brady can win his 100th game tonight? And do you think it was a smart idea for them to trade Laurence Mulroney when their other backs were liable to get injured– and two of them have?

Brady Buncher

Dear Bunch: Ball! Oooo, wow, ball! GO! [rushes up room carrying football, then hurls it at typist] Yayyyy! [applauds]

half pint half back

June 2010.

Dear Ask The Baby: Sorry to change the subject, but aren’t you technically a toddler now?

The Ref

Dear Ref: Um, hissa ball. Ball uh Daddy. [Handing ball to Daddy] Deh-daaa.



  1. give that yummy girl a big smooch from her cousins. And, please ask her if MY Chargers will finally win a super bowl??

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