Ask The Baby: The Eyjafjallajokull Volcano

can it, mountain of fire thingy!

We want SOUTHWESTERLY WINDS for June and July, people.

In this edition of Ask The Baby, volcanologist E.A.A. Judson answers questions about the recent eruptions of the Eyjafjallajokull volcano in Iceland and its subsequent disruptions to air travel. Take a bus and a camel and a ferry to our unique, baby-derived advice now!

As always, our expert’s responses are transcribed verbatim.

Dear Ask The Baby,

I am wrtg. this from my phone in an ariprt in Dublin. Pls. explain what a bunch of dust has to do with me not getting bk 2 LDN to vote tmrw!

Sore Ash

Dear Sore,

Muh-meh! Geh, eh nernernerner, uh heh-heh, dirgle! [points to mouth] MmmmMMmmm!

Dear Ask The Baby,

Is it true that the last time this stupid volcano erupted, it lasted for TWO YEARS? Because I have plane tickets for this summer, you know. And I already know my insurance won’t cover it if the flight gets cancelled, and I can’t afford to book a room on a Cunard liner, and I really miss my Mom, who is also your Grandma, and she misses you. It would stink if she and Grandpa and everyone else didn’t get to hug you until you were three.

–Muh-MEH!

Dear MM!

Huh, nerble geh. Ah geh, heh heh, mmm. [pointing at light fixture] Liiiiigh-tuh! Liiiiigh-tuh! Nnnnn behbeh.

Dear Ask The Baby,

Isn’t there a much bigger story than convenience here? I mean, Eyjafjallajokull isn’t a huge volcano, but one of its neighbors, Laki, is. And if Laki blows… I mean, I don’t want to be dismal, but we’re talking real wrath of God stuff here. Dogs and cats, living together– anarchy! What, in your opinion, is the likelihood of Laki blowing in the near future?

–Out Of My Vulcan Mind

Dear Vulcan,

Ohhhhh eh-heh! [hugs cuddly fox, rolls over giggling] A derble derble mmm, muh-meh!  [points towards mouth] MmmmMMmMMm!

out of your control

How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bean

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