Ask The Baby: Tax Edition

 

Tax Expert Eve Judson

Tax Expert Eve Judson

In this edition of Ask The Baby, six-week-old Eve Judson responds to your questions about last-minute tax problems. As always, our expert’s replies are transcribed verbatim.

 

Dear Ask The Baby: I’m a US expat. I work for a company based in my foreign country and earn in the local currency. Also, I’m married to a foreign national who’s never lived in the USA. Why on earth do I have to file a return and pay taxes to the US, then? And can I get an extension?

A Broad Abroad

Dear Abroad: [heavy panting, kicking foot]. Oooh. Gweh, uh-gweh heh. AIEEEEK! [long pause, blinking] Gweh.

Dear Ask The Baby: Help! I may have painted myself into a corner. I thought going free-lance was a great idea, but now that I’m sitting here with three 1099s and no idea how to complete my return, I’m thinking I should just go back to being a desk jockey with a W-2.  I earned about $42,000.00 last year and have set aside 20% of income to pay taxes. Will this be enough? And can you give me any hard and fast advice for what I should expect if I file late in terms of a penalty?

–Free-lance Isn’t Free

Dear Free: Muh, gweh-heh, [blows raspberry], ah-gwah. Mmmm-heh.

Dear Ask The Baby: I’m fed up with federal taxes! With the new administration about to raise income taxes on hard working families I am joining a protest and sending tea bags to my local officials! With the stimulus about to make us all socialists, all Americans should take part in this grass-roots protest by hearkening back to the unfair tea taxes that made our founding fathers throw tea into Boston Harbor in 1776!!! Because what have taxes ever done for us?

-Patriotic Teabagger

Dear Patriot: [spits up].

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