In this edition of Ask The Baby, six-week-old Eve Judson responds to your questions about last-minute tax problems. As always, our expert’s replies are transcribed verbatim.
Dear Ask The Baby: I’m a US expat. I work for a company based in my foreign country and earn in the local currency. Also, I’m married to a foreign national who’s never lived in the USA. Why on earth do I have to file a return and pay taxes to the US, then? And can I get an extension?
—A Broad Abroad
Dear Abroad: [heavy panting, kicking foot]. Oooh. Gweh, uh-gweh heh. AIEEEEK! [long pause, blinking] Gweh.
Dear Ask The Baby: Help! I may have painted myself into a corner. I thought going free-lance was a great idea, but now that I’m sitting here with three 1099s and no idea how to complete my return, I’m thinking I should just go back to being a desk jockey with a W-2. I earned about $42,000.00 last year and have set aside 20% of income to pay taxes. Will this be enough? And can you give me any hard and fast advice for what I should expect if I file late in terms of a penalty?
–Free-lance Isn’t Free
Dear Free: Muh, gweh-heh, [blows raspberry], ah-gwah. Mmmm-heh.
Dear Ask The Baby: I’m fed up with federal taxes! With the new administration about to raise income taxes on hard working families I am joining a protest and sending tea bags to my local officials! With the stimulus about to make us all socialists, all Americans should take part in this grass-roots protest by hearkening back to the unfair tea taxes that made our founding fathers throw tea into Boston Harbor in 1776!!! Because what have taxes ever done for us?
Dear Patriot: [spits up].