Ask The Baby: Etiquette and Morals



Your Agony Aunt

Your Agony Aunt

Each week, our columnist Eve Judson will answer questions on important subjects: foreign policy, current events, philosophy, and celebrity gossip. This week we stay closer to home, solving your domestic dramas.



All responses by our columnist are transcribed verbatim.

Dear Ask The Baby: I need your help to save a friendship! My best friend since childhood is getting married in the fall, and I was delighted to be chosen as her maid of honor when the date was set at Christmas. The problem is that the wedding preparations are starting to drain me financially and emotionally. The ceremony itself is at a beach resort that requires a flight, time off from work, and the hotel room. There’s the shower and the bachelorette party, which I am organizing, and then the matter of a gift. She and her fiancee seem to have registered for the most expensive, extravagant gifts possible– and they’re also asking for contributions to their honeymoon! Topping it all off is the bridesmaid dress I’ve been asked to buy: it’s the single most expensive piece of clothing I have ever bought.  In this economy, with my job on shaky ground, I’m just not sure I can go through with this. How can I tell my friend that her wedding is out of control?

— Maid of Honor, Not Made of Money

Dear Maid Not Made:

Eeee! Heh, heh, heh– eeee!

Dear Ask The Baby: I am married to a smart, wonderful woman. We make each other laugh and she has really completed my life in a way I didn’t think possible. There’s just one problem: she often finishes my sentences when we’re talking, and not in that cute, oh-they’re-psychic-sweeties way. It’s almost like she’s waiting for her turn to speak next and in a hurry to get me to stop talking. How can I assert my right to finish my own thoughts in my own words without being harsh?

— Vert

Dear Vert:

Haaaaa?  Haaaaa. [crosses eyes, yawns] Meh.


One comment

  1. HILARIOUS, as usual. Glad to see the confirmed res. for the trip this summer. I’m guessing we’ll have ours sewn up by this time next week after my jaunt to AZ with my Dad and Sis. Can’t wait to hear all those baby noises in person.


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