Hello, far-flung friends and relations (and strangers brought here by Google), and welcome to our little family’s blog. This is intended as a means of updating people who know us about how our baby girl (nearly fully baked and feisty) is adapting to life on dry land, and about our domestic state of affairs generally. For Trev and I it will also be a nice way to record and reflect on our life as new parents. For Bean, it will eventually be used as evidence for an emancipation suit sometime in the 2020s.
The current plan is to update on Friday mornings (GMT), but I will probably write a few extra posts this week to catch people up on how the whole process has been unfolding. Also because I have nest-brain syndrome and find it difficult to think about anything other than Baby. My inner monologue goes a bit like this: “Baby baby baby Jon Kyl is a tool baby baby baby FOOD baby baby baby oh, another rejection letter, baby baby baby”.
I should clarify that our baby’s name is NOT going to be “Bean”. She was the size of one when we found out about her– she is more of a watermelon now— and we used “Bean” as a gender-neutral shorthand for her. By the time we knew she was a she, the nickname had stuck.
There are some horrible names out there nowadays. I and anyone else who has spent time teaching in the last few years will have a store of doozies, and the story behind many of those names is that the parents wanted something “different” or “creative” or “unique”. Most family members know that the Mr. and I fancy ourselves “creative” types and probably were worried that any offspring of ours would end up with names more suited to a pop star’s spawn, or else culled from the appendices in The Lord of The Rings, e.g.:
- Arwen Lothlorien
- Balbo Aragorn
- Gandalfina Jeanne
But no. I have a litmus test for naming children, in which you complete one of the following two evening news ledes:
A: “On Capitol Hill today, Senate Finance Committe Chair [First Name] [Last Name] met with Treasury officials…”
B: “Contra Costa County Police say they have apprehended [First Name] [Last Name], otherwise known as ‘The Booger Bandit’, following a low-speed moped chase through a church bazaar.”
If the name sounds reasonable in “A”, it’s a possibility. If it sounds more suitable for “B”, back to the drawing board.
Babies are not pets. We are happy naming our cats things like Quinn or Zeno or Sgt. Podge because they are small creatures with walnut brains that we keep around largely for our own amusement (if we’re going to be perfectly honest– though I would cry if something happened to them). Children are more important. They are here to replace us, hopefully in a new and improved fashion, when they mature. They may start out tiny and drooly and adorable, but they spend most of their lives as grownups. You don’t want them to be embarrassed every time they bubble in their name on a standardized test or sign their tax returns.
Therefore our daughter will not be Heavynn Dixie Cup Judson but Eve Judson (a/k/a “Bean”) instead. We really can’t wait to meet her.